Wednesday, 23 February 2011

For my beautiful boy Walter 15/6/05 - 08/2/2011


Dear Walter,

You arrived as we were selfishly searching for justification to re-plant our roots in Melbourne, quickly after you trained us often choose not to do things outside of our smaller world, the world where you were able to be part of, to be present in.

You will never comprehend the variety of sacrifices we made so that you were never left for more than a few hours on your own, but we don’t regret the lifestyle confinement because you made up for it. We miss you more than what we have missed out.

Every now and then your bite was worse than your bark. Despite this our love was unconditional, sometimes on your terms you would reciprocate. Mostly you had simple needs and were happy to just be wherever we were and to receive your daily doses of interaction. Now I can only hold on to those moments as golden what once seemed everyday routine.

Your body failed you in your prime, I’m sorry I couldn’t control things for you where outcomes can’t be of our choosing. I hope you understood then or will one day realise that we gave you the most care we could for your situation. Maybe near the end we compensated too much for your loss of function because we couldn’t unleash our grasp on hope and of giving you those small moments that used to cause your tail to wag your body, you always still had an appetite even though your body could no longer serve your will. I think you let us know when it was time, thank you, otherwise I don’t think we would have the strength to make the decision without your sign.

Your smile, your enthusiasm, you had real character, a personality that made it easy for me to give you so much of myself. Maybe sometimes we were imagining humanistic qualities in you, others might suggest so in their cynicism, but I don’t think so, to us, you deserved more than the label of ‘dog’, you were with us night and day for most of your life, your consciousness was real, and now no longer, except in our thoughts. Our thoughts which pierce us with pain and comfort us with gratitude for our time we once had.

You never led a self determined life, your Mum and Dad would always be active in doing things to narrow your choices, otherwise you would spend your whole day thinking you were top dog with your face in the food bowl (you know it!), but I think it was the right life for you even though you didn’t think you needed guidance. Now your absence leaves us paralysed by the cavernous void - a gaping hole which used to be our daily care for you as what was once an ingrained part of our lives.

I will remember your wonderment at the world where we spent many hours walked, when you ran free you always made sure I was there safely within the proximity of your anxiety. That’s alright, I was happy to act as your beacon, you were oblivious as I watched over you with a warm sense of reward to see you play, walk and express yourself.

Amongst the expanse of this world, I know that we, us three are insignificant specks in the passing of time, yet to each other our time together was the entirety. That’s what it feels like right now. We will never forget you, in time we hope that when you visit our thoughts we can do so without the ache that comes with loss.

Good night my boy, my sprightly shadow, you shone so bright. If there is another place then I would hope that we could all be together again.

Love Daddy and Mummy


I've heard this song many times over but it never held such depth or meaning for me until now...
For you my darling boy,
you rest now, thank you for the wonderful 5 1/2 years you've given us. You made up our perfect little world. Mummy and daddy is looking forward to the day where we will all be together again. Until then, you will be forever in our hearts and we miss you sorely.
Mummy
x



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Walter had a great Christmas and New Years with family and friends, showing little signs of symptoms, he ran and played as he always did. In late January and early February, despite his medication, he deteriorated very rapidly, barely able to walk a few paces and experienced daily seizures. In the early hours of Tuesday morning on the 8th of Feb, Walter experienced a very large seizure and it was then, in our hearts, we knew we had to let him go...


Walter 15/6/2005 ~ 8/2/2011 at approximately 11am.

17 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear of your lost of Walter - it really is a tough one when we loose our much loved pets - been through it a few times myself so I know how you are feeling - it is always good to think of those happy times together.
    Take care.
    Hugs Lyn x

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  2. Jenny, I'm so so sorry to hear of your great loss and know what a sad time you must be going through. Like you, our dogs have always been our kids. We lost our first dog almost 18 months ago to epilepsy so I know what it's like to see your loved one suffering like this. Hang in there. Di

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  3. Hi Jenny,

    I am so sorry to hear about Walter's passing. It was always neat to see his photo here on your blog and hear about what he (and you) were up to together. My sincerest condolences.

    ~ginger

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  4. I am so very sorry for your loss Jenny. Walter will live in your hearts, that's for sure. x

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  5. Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful boy and so young too x Your choice of music is perfect. I have 3 dogs, 2 of which are 13 and one of which is not so good and I dread the thought of her going. Take comfort in the fact he had an exceptional life and that although his life was short he lived it to the full.

    Take Care
    Sue x

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  6. I am so very very sorry for you both..you are in my thoughts & my heart.
    I have my two boys & they are my world..like you said you protect them ,love them & they are such a huge part of our lives & to be without them is just to hard to imagine.
    What a lovely tribute to 'walter' by his very loving mummy.
    Take care. x

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  7. Oh, Jenny, I'm SO sorry to hear that you have lost dear Walter. It's such a difficult thing. Please know that I will be thinking about you and holding you all in my heart.

    Warmly,
    Cheryl

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  8. I am very sorry for your loss. I have a small dog and he is one of the loves of my life. I have had him since he was a baby and I love him so much that I can't imagine my life without him. Just thinking about it I feel like I want to cry. Your dog was so precious.

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  9. Dear All,
    Thank you for your kind words of comfort. I still wake up missing him and the pain does not want to seem to go away. I can only hold on to the hope that we will meet again some day and he will be in my arms once again. We loved him so much...

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  10. Suzannah/ Etsy pinkfrenchy24 February 2011 at 22:17

    Dear Jenny,
    My heart cried tears for your loss, I too also share the same experience and know the feelings that comes with the heart break of a loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute to Walter and your words express how much you truly loved him. He will always be in your heart and what you learned from him will be a treasure to you & your family.
    Walter was also so lucky to have such a wonderful mommy as you. He cherished you and loved you just as much.
    Many Kisses,
    Suzannah

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  11. Jenny, my deepest sympathies with the loss of your little child.

    Pat xx

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  12. he's a beautiful puppy. i'm so sorry for your loss :'(

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  13. Jenny I am so sorry about Walter... A lot of us know what it feels to lose our babies. I have and still feel down from time to time about the ones I have lost. Do not worry, the pain will heal in time.

    When I read your Tribute...It saddened me but then lifted me. Your love for Walter shines... And with that much love, you know he was a happy pup.

    My heart goes out to you...

    *Hugs*

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  14. Jenny I'm sorry for your loss.. I hope you find this comforting.. http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html (copy and paste).
    Kind Regards,
    SarahKatrina x

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss! I've been there before and I know how devastating it is to lose a precious "fur baby." This is a bit cheesy, but my friend sent it to me when my dog passed away:
    http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

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  16. I always cry when I read messages like this,I know so well what you feel,I mis my dog who passed away every day.It is hard,

    Big hugs,Leny

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  17. Thank you all for your warm words of comfort..it is exactly one month today since Walter left us and we still miss him very much even with the arrival of our new little bundle of joy. We had wished so much he could have meet his little brother, they would have loved each other so. We're slowly getting over our loss though not our love for him and the pang of pain is starting to ease as we remember him fondly each day.

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Thank you so much for your visit and for taking the time to comment on my post :D